WARNINGS AND DISCLAMERS

Xena awoke before dawn as usual. Gabrielle was still wrapped tightly in her arms and the bard was smiling even in her sleep. They both were still nude from their lovemaking last night and Xena could already feel the arousal starting in her thighs from the naked woman lying in her arms. She didn't want to wake the bard and knew she was going to have to move or it would cease to be an option, but she couldn't resist kissing the bard tenderly once before she got up.

Xena looked at the sky, while she gathered her things to go clean up some before getting dressed. Dark threatening clouds had moved in during the night and she decided it was time to move before the rain began.

The warrior hurried to the lake to clean up. When she returned she started to pack their things while allowing Gabrielle to sleep a while longer. She had found a cave while she'd been out hunting and had already decided to move the bard there to recover, but hadn't planned to move her this soon.

Xena gathered some dry wood and tied it to the back of Argo’s saddle and covered it just in case it started to rain before they could make it to the cave. She wanted to be sure she had dry wood to start a fire once they got there.

Finally Xena had everything ready to move except for Gabrielle. She walked over to where the small woman was still sleeping. Xena laid down next to the beautiful woman watching her sleep for a few more seconds and then leaned over kissing the bard on the lips until Gabrielle woke and started to respond to the deepening kiss. The bard reached over with her right arm and pulled the warrior over on top of her returning the kiss passionately.

Xena finally pulled back a little from the bard. "Gabrielle it's going to start raining and we need to get to shelter." The warrior tenderly kissed the bard's soft full lips again and got up. Xena knew if she didn't get up that the fire that had been ignited by the small woman's touch and kiss would start demanding attention. "I already have everything packed, except you." Xena said with a smile.

"Can I at least get dressed before you 'pack' me away?" The bard asked eyeing the warrior looking down at her.

Xena arched her eyebrow at the small woman, looking mildly amused. "Sure I think we can spare you enough time to put something on… if you really want to?" the warrior said with a devilish grin on her face... Xena was enjoying the view of the naked bard.

The bard reached over and picked up her tunic and slipped it over her head, whimpering a little as the soreness from the dislocated left arm made itself known.

"You can ride in the litter that I brought you here in; I’ve tied it to Argo’s saddle. I found a cave about a half candlemark from here." Xena said as she started to wrap a blanket around the smaller woman shoulders. "I know that you’re still a little stiff and sore to be traveling, but it’s the closest place I know. We’ll go slow and it shouldn’t be too hard on you." Once Xena had Gabrielle all wrapped up she picked her up and carried the bard to the litter and put her down gently and gave her another lustful kiss before standing up.

"Xena you shouldn’t have carried me." The bard said blushing from embarrassment.

"Gabrielle you can walk all you want to when we get to the cave. Right now we just need to get there before it starts to rain."

They made it to the cave without incident and it had only just started to rain as the pair got there. The mouth of the cave was large enough for even Argo to be sheltered inside out of the rain.

Xena lead Argo inside the mouth of the cave and then turned to Gabrielle. "Just lay still while I take care of getting Argo unloaded." Xena nodded toward the rear of the cave as she told the bard, "we’ll be staying in the adjoining chamber and I have a surprise for you in there." Xena took the litter loose and unloaded the wood and other supplies. She then took Argo’s saddle off and gave her something to eat and drink.

Xena then made and lit a couple of torches and placed them in the other chamber. She then returned and turned her full attention to the bard. "Are you ready my bard?" Xena asked with a smile.

Gabrielle nodded returning the warrior's smile.

Xena bent over and gently picked the bard up in her arms and gave the small woman another kiss before she headed for the rear of the cave. Xena had to bend over slightly to go through the opening and then stood up into a very roomy chamber. A smile spread across the bard’s face. "This is great Xena. How did you ever find it?"

"I found it yesterday when I was out hunting for the deer. I checked it out and decided it would be a good place to move you to when you were feeling better. The rain sort of forced an earlier move than I’d planned." Xena carried Gabrielle over by a pool that the bard discovered was a warm mineral springs and sat her down. "The pool seems to keep this chamber nearly a constant temperature. I’ll be right back, I’m just going to get the rest of our things." Xena said as she left the chamber.

Xena had to make a couple of trips to get all their things into the adjoining chamber. And by the time she made the final trip it was already pouring rain outside. She finished laying out their things and fixed a small campfire for cooking. Xena then helped the bard to the blankets she’d spread out and made her comfortable.

Xena returned to their bags and got out some of the dried venison, cheese and bread and picked up the wineskin and then returned to sit down beside the bard and share what she'd brought to eat and drink. "I hope that this will be alright for now, it's just raining too hard right now to try to go out to get anything to eat.

Gabrielle had just taken a bite of the venison. "This is really good and there seems to be plenty, so don't worry about it. Besides it won't rain forever." The bard said smiling pleasantly over at the warrior.

"Gabrielle if you feel up to it there’s still some other things that we need to talk about. There are a few things I haven't told you yet. I just want to be sure that you’re ready to handle…" Xena said with a worried look on her face.

"I think that would be all right. Hey… it can’t be that bad." Gabrielle said with a hopeful look.

"There is something else that I need to tell you about the night that you were hurt. It’s nothing you did so don’t start worrying about that. Actually it’s something that I did." Xena said. Xena wasn’t sure now was a good time to tell Gabrielle she had read part of her journal, but it was better to tell her than for it to slip out later. Either Gabrielle will accept that I know what she wrote or I guess she’ll be mad as Hades.

Gabrielle looked at Xena doubtfully and questioningly and waited for the warrior to continue.

"I think maybe it will be easier to start by trying to explain to you why I did what I did. Then tell you what it is that I did." She looked at Gabrielle; "Does that make any sense at all?"

Gabrielle nodded in the affirmative and said, "I think so."

"I was very confused about what I found in camp and I was having trouble trying to figure out what had happened to you. I went looking for you immediately but I lost your tracks in the darkness."

Gabrielle was watching Xena’s face intently as she saw a tear start down the warrior’s cheek. This really took Gabrielle back a little. The warrior seldom cried about anything and Gabrielle couldn’t even begin to imagine what the warrior could possible be going to confess to that could cause this kind of obvious distress.

"My torch was about to go out so I had to return to camp for more supplies. I started picking up some of your scrolls that were scattered all over the camp. I was really upset that I hadn’t already been able to find you… with the blood I found I was afraid you were laying somewhere bleeding to death and needing my help." A few more tears ran from the warrior’s eyes as she recalled the events of that night.

Gabrielle moved over to the warrior and put her arm around the warrior’s shoulders. "Xena you found me and I’m fine. There’s no need to continue if you don’t want to." The bard said concerned.

Xena was shaking her head; "No I think you should know." Xena paused taking a deep breath and continued. "I returned to camp and was trying to think of some way to help you and was looking for any kind of clues while I was cleaning up the camp. I found another piece of your journal near the fire and started to read it… I had started to get desperate." Xena looked into the bard’s face that still didn’t look like she quite understood what Xena was trying to tell her.

Gabrielle had written so many things in her scrolls there was no way for the bard to even to guess at what the warrior was referring to. She did know that there were some things that would be embarrassing if anyone else were to have read them. It had taken her long enough to be honest even with herself about some of her feelings.

"Maybe this will be easier if I just give you the piece of parchment I found." With that Xena walked back over to her bedroll and bags and pulled out the piece of paper. She walked back over and handed it to Gabrielle. While Gabrielle read Xena kept watching the bard out of the corner of her eye.

Gabrielle took the parchment from Xena’s hands and was almost afraid to see what she’d written. It didn't start out so bad and Gabrielle was beginning to wonder what it was that had caused the warrior to be upset.

Uh… oh… the bard was starting to get a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She now had a very good suspicion what the rest of the parchment contained even though it was torn and not all there.

Gabrielle could feel the heat from the blush that was traveling up her neck as she started reading the next paragraph and realizing what she had admitted in it.

For the first time since the bard had heard that her scrolls had been damaged she was wishing that this particular piece of parchment had been damaged a little more. Gods…This isn't as embarrassing as it would have been if we hadn't… but Xena did read this before we…PITY??? GODS NO!!!

Xena was watching with concealed interest to the bard’s reactions as she learned what Xena had read. Xena seen the bard start to turn red and watched as the bard’s discomfort got worse the more she read. Xena could think of no way to make this easier… she just couldn’t deny that she’d read it and she felt that Gabrielle had to know.

Gabrielle was truly uncomfortable at this point. The bard really tried to look up at Xena at this point but just couldn't bring herself to look into the intense blue eyes that she was sure was watching her.

Gabrielle finished and just sat there looking down at the piece of paper in her hands. Warm tears had already started rolling down her cheeks before she’d even finished reading. Yep that just about does it I guess… so I guess that maybe Xena is trying to tell me that she made love to me out of pity for the little 'girl' from Poteidaia. Gabrielle slowly rolled the parchment as her mind was in a whirl trying to decide what to do now. She laid the parchment down beside her.

When Xena seen Gabrielle crying she laid her hand on Gabrielle’s arm. Gabrielle stiffened and without turning "Xena I need to think for a minute." And shrugged the warrior’s grip from her arm.

The warrior pulled back like she’d been burned. "Gabrielle please. I’m sorry I never meant to hurt you or to pry into your feelings."

Gabrielle sat staring into her lap; she just couldn’t face the warrior. "Xena I’m not mad or angry… I’m… I guess it’s just a little embarrassing… I… Xena I just don’t know what to say at this point… I am sorry that you had to find out this way how silly, childish and immature I am." The bard was having difficulty talking as she started to sob a little harder.

It was hurting the warrior to see Gabrielle like this. She tried again to talk to the small woman. "Gabrielle I don’t think you’re..." as Xena said this she laid her hand on Gabrielle’s arm again.

This time Gabrielle pulled away from Xena as she removed her arm from the warrior’s touch. "Xena please don’t touch me…"

Xena kept a distance from the bard and continued what she’d started to say. "Gabrielle I don’t think you’re being silly or immature. Gabrielle I love you and I respect the fact that you tried to work things out on your own. But we all need help sometimes whether we want it or not." Xena kept watching for some sign that the bard was listening to her. The bard never moved or said anything.

"Xena… is there more?" Gabrielle didn’t really want to hear the answer if there was, but she had to know.

"No Gabrielle. There are some other things that I would like to tell you though." Seeing the worried look return to the bard’s face Xena added. "It’s just about myself. Now don’t worry any more about it. Now go on and finish your dinner and wine. I’ll go get the stuff ready to clean and bandage your wounds." With that Xena rose and walked back to their supplies. She stopped by the fire on the way back and picked up some warm water to clean the wounds.

Gabrielle flinched when Xena sat down beside her and started to clean and bandage her wounds. Besides the initial flinch the bard never resisted or said anything while Xena continued to work on her.

Xena figured it’d probably be better to give the bard some time to herself. "I’m going to go check on Argo, if you need me just say so." Xena checked the mares feed and water again making sure she had enough. She took out the brush and started to work on the mare. It always seemed to help her think. "You know Argo… I don’t think I handled that very well." Argo snorted giving her arm a nudge. "I probably should have waited… honesty may be the best policy, but there’s obviously something to be said for timing." Xena finished currying the mare and then sat down on a rock just staring out of the mouth of the cave into the pouring rain contemplating the obvious mess she’d made of her relationship with Gabrielle. At the moment she was definitely at a loss as to what to do. She now feared anything she would do, might only make things worse than they already were.

Ó Copyrighted January 1998 by DelShannon