The following is a bit of alternative fiction based on certain characters from the Xenaverse. It is not meant to infringe on anyone else's rights. If you don't agree or disapprove, please go read something else.
Cherise caught Joxer's elbow on his way into the inn and steered him back out. "I don't want her to see you yet." she spoke quietly. She pulled him out of plain view, turned around to look at him and whistled. She nodded her head, "Nice. Much better. You followed my instructions. Very good." She turned him around, a little roughly. "You clean up nice Jox." She tapped his sword, "Did you get some training like I told you?"
Joxer answered meekly, "Yes."
"Good. Good."
She looked at him speculatively, her brows furrowed. "I won't guarantee the outcome Jox. There's some mighty stiff competition and I already know one individual will not quit. But," she waggled her finger, "you keep doing as I say and something good may come out of this. Something better than you ever thought."
The man smiled widely. "As long as I get to be with my love, I'll be in heaven."
"Uh huh." Cherise affirmed with a mysterious smile. "That you will be. You are going to be one lucky guy Jox."
"Er. I'm Jox-er"
"Yeah, whatever, Jox." Cherise beamed, "a truly lucky guy." She put an arm over his shoulder, "Say, did I tell you I saw your mother a few days ago?"
The lanky man blinked and looked at Cherise cautiously, "you did?"
"Yeah, she was doing great. We had a nice long talk." Cherise grinned at the man, "Your mom can cook." Cherise smiled inside at the memory. Joxer's mom sure had a lot to say. She looked at the adventurer and smiled almost gleefully. Then she slapped him on the back in a friendly way. "I'm going to make sure the coast is clear. Give me ten minutes then go and see Cyrene. You know Cyrene don't you?"
Joxer nodded hesitantly, "yes. I know her. I've been to her inn before."
"Good. Good. She'll get you settled then. See you in a few." The matchmaker started to leave, then she turned around abruptly, "Oh and, don't sing that song, except in private, okay?"
Joxer gave a spastic nod.
The redhead clapped her hands silently and said, "good man, Jox." and left to do her work.
Hecuba and Gabrielle were finishing off a massive breakfast when Cherise reentered the inn several minutes later. Cherise grinned, her voice lilted across the room, "Hi Hecuba, Hello your majesty. Have we got things to do today! " she said enthusiastically. Gabrielle choked a little bit on the last bit of cheese and had to do that nasty coughing thing. Cherise ignored it, clapped her hands and began rubbing them together. She addressed Gabrielle's mother first, "Hecuba, I thought we'd take advantage of your daughter's fortuitous arrival and get her gussied up for the contestants."
Gabrielle spoke up, as soon as she could. "Now wait a second, I'm not going to. . ."
"Go about dressed the way you are in front of your suitors. Very wise decision." Cherise finished for the bard. "Don't worry, we'll keep the Amazon spirit. We're just going to lose that green thing and maybe add a little zest to the outfit. You are a queen after all."
Gabrielle tried again, "Xena and I are,"
"really glad to be here. Yes, yes, I know" Cherise gave Gabrielle a shoulder hug, "And we are really glad you are here too." Hecuba grinned into a napkin and finished wiping her mouth. The grin was replaced with an almost serious look when Gabrielle glanced at her mother. Cherise looked around, "Speaking of Xena, where is she?"
Hecuba spoke up, her eyes sparkling, "Cyrene needed help with a few outside chores. She asked Xena to do them. She mentioned something about fieldwork and it taking almost all day."
Cherise grinned, "Well, then, I guess we have most of the day to get you set up, Gabrielle." Hecuba barely managed not to laugh at the double meaning of the words.
Every time Xena thought she was finished with a project, her mother found another equally backbreaking, dirty and annoying request to give her sweet, willing and helpful daughter. For that reason Xena, who found herself almost on the opposite side of town helping some poor young farmer mend his fences, missed the arrival of Gabrielle's Amazon suitors. And when she was helping the smith load some very heavy metal into his shop, she missed the arrival of a certain blonde friend of Hercules. And of course, when she was helping the eldest woman of the village feed her pigs, she missed seeing yet some more willing and handsome entrants into the matchmaking contest.
Meanwhile, Cyrene set Toris straight (sort of) and told him not to worry, that this contest wasn't about him. Xena's brother could not believe his sheer good fortune and was extremely grateful that *he* didn't have to worry about the machinations of that wily matchmaker. He blissfully walked away paying little attention to his destination. Therefore it was his fault when he bumped into a tall gawky stranger with soft, confused brown eyes. "Beg your pardon." Toris said as they fumbled into each other.
Joxer was gracious, "No problem. I deal with this all the time." He disengaged effectively, for him, from the unexpected contact. Toris smiled and backed off. He glanced at the individual in front of him. Not overly handsome, but nice face. Features were a little long maybe.
"You here for the contest?" Toris asked conversationally.
"Oh yeah." Joxer smiled blissfully, "I'm here to win and woo the lovely Gabrielle." He issued an admiring sigh.
Xena's brother grinned and extended his hand, "Well, hope you luck out and get the one you want." Joxer grasped the man's hand in his own and felt a warm friendly grip. He found himself gazing into blue blue eyes. He forgot to breathe for a moment and had to remind himself.
"Yeah," he exhaled. "Thanks." He squinted his eyes, "Do I know you from someplace?"
Toris let go of Joxer's hand and grinned, "Don't think so. I'm Toris. Xena's brother."
"Oh! Okay," the adventurer nodded in final understanding. Now he could place those eyes. "Joxer."
They smiled at each other again and there was a pause. A few seconds later they came back to themselves. "Well, see you around Joxer. Good luck and all that."
"Sure. Thanks. See you around." Joxer the mighty watched in a kind of a daze as Toris the brother left the inn. Wow, he thought, this family sure has charisma. Then he turned his attention to making his way through the bar without another mishap.
ŠJune 1997