The following is a bit of alternative fiction based on certain characters from the Xenaverse. It is not meant to infringe on anyone else's rights. If you don't agree or disapprove, please go read something else.
"But, A Tie?! You declared it a tie!" Cherise was shouting, quite uncharacteristically. Her voice was raised to a pitch that would have assaulted less sturdy ears than Iolaus, but the man had heard everything or almost everything, so a little shouting didn't bother him and he stood firm. The redhead continued to rail. "Xena was supposed to win. XENA!"
Iolaus' arms folded across his chest, his body stood in a stance that said, I'm not budging, "BUT, she didn't, did she. Xena tied. They all tied." The blonde's arms flew up in frustration. "What in Hades was I supposed to do? Everyone saw it! I couldn't just say, well, the other two crossed the line at the very same time, but Xena wins! That wouldn't have been fair."
Cherise growled in frustration. "This wasn't about fair. It was about. . ."
"Setting Xena and Gab up, which was a pretty stupid idea in the first place. What I don't get is why you all just didn't ask one or the other if they wanted to. . ."
"They were being too slow." Iolaus stepped closer and stared up at a lovely, angry face.
"For whom, Cherise?" Cherise swallowed at the look the small man was giving her. His face had taken on a soft intensity and his eyes a different type of kindness. "Why do you say that? How has their relationship been too slow for you?"
"They, they," The matchmaker was losing her train of thought. She shook her head and pointed a long finger at Iolaus' chest, "Quit trying to distract me. I know all about you. You're a woman at every port kind of guy and I'm not going to be one of them."
Iolaus' eyes narrowed speculatively and then he grinned and stepped back, "Alright, but you have to admit it. You shouldn't have been trying to manipulate Xena and Gabrielle."
Cherise groaned and rolled her eyes heavenward. "But they make such a cute couple."
Iolaus grinned, "Yea, well, now there's four people involved in that cute couple." Cherise winced. *How could this have gone so badly. It had been such a perfect plan.*
"We'll have to do an Amazon Judicial court. We're just going to have to separate them. There's no way in Hades the gods are going to allow. . ."
A small man stood humbly at the door, waiting for an appropriate moment to interrupt the conspirators. His priestly robes seemed to glow in the night, though it was just the fire's light showing through. His hands were folded softly together. "May I speak?" He asked carefully. Two pair of startled eyes turned to look at the slightly balding priest. "The Gods have already made a ruling." It was kind of funny to watch two pairs of jaws drop at the same time.
Meanwhile, Gabrielle was having quite a rail session of her own. She wasn't shouting, out of respect for the wounded, but her whispers were intense and delivered the message just as well. "You could have asked! We would have told you. But No! Instead you have to start this ridiculous,"
"Now daughter," Hecuba tried to soothe. She reached for the bard's arm, but Gabrielle stepped out of the way with a jerk.
"Don't now daughter me!" She whispered vehemently, "How could you do this to us?" Her voice was ragged with worry for Xena. Her hazel eyes flashed angrily.
Xena, in her wisdom had asked the bard to leave even as the healers were preparing to move the joint back in place. ("But I want to be with you." "Gabrielle, you'll just be upset. Please." Warm hands clasping her own. Pained blue eyes not quite begging, but not to be refused. The firm shoulder clasp of a healer on her shoulder. "Xena," almost a prayer. "I'll be fine.")
Gabrielle's voice caught as she addressed what she considered to be the real problem "If you'd just asked, Xena wouldn't be,"
"Gabrielle," Cyrene began, her voice soft with her own agony and self recrimination. Xena's injury was the last thing she'd thought would happen. Then her eyes fell on two very miserable Amazons. Arete's arms were wrapped protectively around a distraught Kalai. No, that wasn't true, Cyrene thought. The tie was the last thing she thought would happen. "Be reasonable."
"I AM being reasonable." Gabrielle intoned. "I am being very reasonable considering this whole stupid mess."
"But the four of you can't." Hecuba started.
Gabrielle brought herself up to her full Queenly height and her eyes flashed. "Oh YES, we can," the queen spoke very firmly, "*I* am the *Queen* of the Amazons and *They* are my legal consorts thanks to your efforts." She pointed at the blonde and the brunette and the mothers flinched. "The only thing lacking now is the joining ceremony. And I intend to meet my obligations in," her voice drawled suggestively, "All Ways."
The mothers gasped in shock at her implied meaning. Hecuba recognized that stubborn look and knew that the red head wouldn't budge from her decision. *Good Gods, what had they done!* She tried another way, "But darling what will people think?"
Gabrielle's nostrils flared, "They will *think* that our *mothers* interfered!" She turned away abruptly as the two women exchanged a shamed look. Both of them held the same thought, *How could this have gone so badly. It had been such a perfect plan.*
Gabrielle walked back to the woeful Amazons and softly spoke to them. Her voice comforting and benevolent. One hand rested gently on Kalai's shoulder and the other about Arete's waist. Her face was full of compassion and gratitude. "Thank you so much for what you did," she spoke from the heart and looked into soft, worried green eyes. Then she looked into wet brown eyes.
The Queen gently wiped a tear away from Kalai's face. "Xena will be alright." She comforted, "thanks to your efforts." Arete winced. She could still hear the healers swearing at her for letting Xena run that last little bit. Arete bit her lip.
"I shouldn't have let her run," the blonde said guiltily.
Gabrielle snickered, "She would have jumped out of your arms anyway. There was no letting or not letting. Xena makes up her own mind about these things." She smiled gently. "And she made up her mind about you, for whatever reason." Though, she made a mental note, she was going to pry that information out of her warrior as soon as possible. She gazed kindly at them, "Tomorrow we will be joined and I could wish for no others," *What was Xena thinking?* "and tonight the issue will be addressed formally. Be prepared." They both nodded solemnly. Too solemnly, in Gabrielle's opinion, and in that thought she believed she understood.
Gabrielle's smile changed to one of amiable seduction. It caused Kalai to gasp and Arete to blink. The Queen deliberately caressed Kalai's face and leaned forward to kiss her. Her mouth pressed gently. Kalai's eyes opened wide in surprise. Then the Queen stood on her toes and pulled the blonde's face down and did the same. She grinned at both of them and did the little headshake that meant, "look."
The Amazons looked carefully in the direction that she indicated and saw two mothers having heart palpitations (or something really close to it). Arete felt an amused grin starting to over take her face. Kalai's expression lightened considerably. Gabrielle spoke again, her voice still soft, "So, do you think you can be prepared." Arete snuck another glance at the mothers, grinned and nodded. Kalai just looked at Gabrielle with admiration. Gabrielle leaned in and said, "Let's put a joyful face on this. I want the Amazons to be proud," she tightened her hold on the two in her arms, "as they very well should be," then she shot a subtle look at the two mothers, "and I want my mothers to think twice the next time they get the notion to interfere." She had been so mad when they'd practically pounced on her to describe the joining ceremony they had planned. They'd been so confident of Xena's win, they hadn't even waited to see the outcome. Gabrielle suspected she knew what Xena's reasoning was. She squeezed her new consorts tight. "Now this," she spoke very very discreetly, "is going to be rich." Then she turned around and smiled sweetly at her mother and Xena's, all traces of anger gone.
The healers looked at each other in confusion. "That was the most incredible thing I have ever seen." the woman said quietly to her compatriot as they walked out of the room.
"I know. Not a peep." The other healer looked back at the room.
"Not till it was done anyway."
"It had to have hurt. I mean, I know it did," there was a nod.
They both looked at each other, "Then what was she laughing at?" All they could do was shrug.