The following is a bit of alternative fiction based on certain characters from the Xenaverse. It is not meant to infringe on anyone else's rights. If you don't agree or disapprove, please go read something else.
Character Development Ahead: Xena and Gab needed a Rest! (wouldn't you?)
Xex Alert: Naughty Bits ahead, possibly even very (depending on your tastes). You may miss something if you skip ahead, but I will understand.
Joxer Alert: This a Joxer intensive chapter. Those of you who are truly allergic to Joxer may have to skip ahead, but you may miss something important.
The lanky adventurer slowed to a walk as soon as he was out of town. He'd learned to pace himself a long time ago. He supposed he could have jogged, but with Xena's directions in mind he knew he would arrive at the spot in two hours at an even walk. She'd been kind of specific about that, he thought, but Xena typically was very direct. It was one of the qualities that he liked about her. Joxer smiled happily, looked around to make sure no one was looking and began to sing his way along the trail. "Joxer the Mighty, He's very. . ."
Joxer made some good time, but wasn't even half way to his destination yet, when he heard the sound of hoof beats. Long habit caused him to get off the trail and to the side. He didn't need trouble today.
Toris waved to the man as he reigned in his horse. "Hey Joxer, how goes?"
Joxer gave an easy smile and stepped back on the road. "Okay. I'm almost there."
"I talked with the judges Joxer, did you know you could have help?"
Joxer shaded his eyes against the sun and looked up at Toris, "How do you mean."
"You can have a coach to help you. You could have ridden a horse. They didn't set any limitations on how you get to wherever."
Joxer blinked in thought. "You're right." Now it made sense why Xena helped him.
"I thought I would offer my services. I have a stake in this. Xena unhappy makes for Toris unhappy not to mention the rest of the known world." The man grinned easily. He leaned down and offered an arm. "How 'bout it?"
Joxer backed away, "uh, thanks, but I really don't," he swallowed nervously. "I walk."
"You walk." Toris looked at Joxer questioningly, he leapt softly off the horse and looked at Joxer. He kept his gaze even, but found himself evaluating and finding the adventurer appealing.
"I don't really," Joxer began, "do horses. They're a bit," he used his arms to demonstrate, "tall."
Toris nodded understandingly, "Oh." He peered at the man, his face expressionless, nonjudgmental, "You've never ridden one before have you?"
Joxer pursed his lips, looked embarrassed and shook his head. Toris looked up a the sky and watched a cloud float pleasantly in the air. Then the man looked at the brown eyed adventurer. "How far have you got to go?" Joxer looked thoughtful and told him.
"That's over an hour away. If you walk I mean."
"True, but I'm used to walking."
Toris thought about it. "If I promised you that I wouldn't let you fall, would you consider riding? I'd feel better if we got this whole treasure temple thing finished and out of the way. You know, so you'd still be in the race and all." He gave Joxer a coaxing grin.
Joxer looked thoughtful. He was making good time, but this was kind of a race. Though come to think of it, the judges had never called it a race. Still, he knew the way and he didn't think Xena would mind, really, but it was a horse. But this was about helping his friends. He opted for bravery. "I can do anything." he reminded himself.
Toris clapped Joxer on the back. "That's the spirit." Xena's brother lifted himself back on the horse and leaned down. "Come on up. I'll let you ride up front." Joxer grabbed the man's strong arm and was hoisted up to the saddle. Surprisingly, there was enough room for both of them. It helped that Joxer was a thin man. A strong arm wrapped around his flat stomach. Another one simply held the reins. Joxer felt Toris' thighs against his own and the kick that Toris used to signal the horse to move on. Joxer refused to look down and stared straight ahead.
If the lanky man trembled a bit, Toris didn't comment on it.
Toris thought it was uncanny how Xena found the most beautiful secluded off the path genuinely difficult to find unless you have directions places in the known world, even in their own backyard. "You ready?" he spoke into Joxer's ear. Toris meant those words innocuously enough, but Joxer's body's response was something altogether different.
The whole trip, Joxer had been aware of the warmth of Toris' big palm pressing against his abdomen and dark man's chest against the his back. At first, he tried to distract himself by sitting up tall, but that had seemed to only encourage Toris to settle even closer, until Joxer to could feel the man's hips rocking against his to the rhythm of the horse's pace. It had been all he could do not to gasp with pleasure and his eyelids had drifted almost completely shut. By the time they'd arrived Joxer had quite unconsciously settled himself firmly against the other man's chest and his breathing had evened out to an almost hypnotic state.
And with Toris words, the gentle individual found himself approaching an embarrassingly aroused state. Joxer tried to cover manfully by jumping off the horse and talking quickly, "Oh yeah, I'm ready. Completely. Totally. Ready. I've got to get that treasure. It should be right over there." Toris had meant to give the man a hand down, just as he'd helped him up. Instead, he found himself catching Joxer into his arms and against his chest before the adventurer fell in an ungainly fashion.
"Whoa there, what's the rush. There's an art to getting off."
Joxer blushed a crimson hue before he could avoid it. He cleared his throat and said, "Yeah, well, . .horses," he tried to excuse.
"I know." Toris spoke reassuringly. "But if you'll just relax, your first time will be a better experience."
If it were possible to turn even redder, Joxer managed it. Get your mind out of the gutter, he commanded himself. Joxer took a deep breath and then another.
"That's it." Toris rumbled gently. "Relax." Toris hand reached down and under Joxer's thigh and he lifted the adventurer's leg up and over. "Gentle, just like that." Then he slid his other arm up under Joxer's chest and under the adventurer's arm until their arms were clasped in each others hands. He settled Joxer softly and carefully on the ground. "See, much better. Right?"
Joxer gave Toris a shaky nod and was careful not to turn around. He looked at the ground and surreptitiously at himself. Down Boy, he thought, Down! He bit his lips and thought of cold lakes, cold showers, cold ice, ice, ice blue, blue, blue eyes, blue handsome eyes, Toris' blue eyes just like his sister's, just like Meg's blue blue gorgeous eyes. Toris and Meg, blue eyes, ice, blue. Toris' warm blue.
"Joxer?" Toris' voice startled the man out of his thoughts. The startlement helped.
"Yeah?"
Toris pointed, "you said the treasure was over there."
Joxer nodded, "Oh, yeah, right. Thanks." He walked very carefully to where Xena said the treasure was hidden.
Toris dropped off the horse in an easy fluid manner on the opposite side of the animal and so managed to miss most of the contortions Joxer made so as not to reveal himself. By the time Xena's brother made his way around, Joxer was bending over a stone and trying to lift it by himself.
"No!" Toris yelled, startling the poor guy, "No. Not like that. You've got to lift with your legs. Not your back." Toris grinned, "I speak from experience. You learn things like that when you're a farmer. Here I'll show you." Toris crouched easily and placed his hands under the rock. He nodded for Joxer to do the same. Then he counted off and they lifted. They breathed heavy and rolled the rock to the side.
Toris laughed as they looked at the now uncovered hole in the ground. "Know what's sad Joxer? I'll bet you ten to one Xena placed that rock herself."
Joxer looked to the side at Toris and grinned. Then he stared back down at the golden object before him and lifted it out carefully. He laughed. "Priapus." Toris' mouth gaped and then he guffawed.
"Gods! Only my sister!" He laughed until the tears rolled from his face.
With Toris' admonition to relax and the ribald jocularity inspired by the Priapus statuette, Joxer managed to enjoy the ride back to the temple. Once they got into town he would go on foot, give the object over, strive very hard not to crack the joke about fishing that Toris had just told him, and give his offering. Then he and Toris would have plenty of time to prepare for the feast. The sun hadn't even started it's afternoon descent.
Toris slowed the horse down and pointed at a small body of water, which reflected the noon sun. "Hate to say it Joxer, but this laughing has made me thirsty. I've got to get a drink."
Joxer snickered, "Man, I can totally understand that. It sounds like a good idea." This time the effort to dismount the horse was much easier and less dangerous.
Toris tied the horse's reigns to a nearby tree (not too tight, not too loose) and walked over to the stream. He looked around cautiously and only saw green growing things and the occasional tiny paw print. Okay. He traced the water up a little bit and found a spring. He knelt, tasted, and smiled appreciatively. "The water's fine!" He said loudly.
Joxer knelt besides Toris, cupped his hands, dipped and drank. He grinned appreciatively. The water was sweet to the taste, "Good. Definitely." He smiled up at Toris and was caught in a suddenly intense blue gaze. His mouth was suddenly dry again.
Toris leaned close, his breath brushing against the man's lips. "Joxer?" he whispered the question. The adventurer took advantage of the fact that Toris was wearing more clothes than he was, wrapped his hand in the man's collar and pulled him close until their lips met in a tender kiss. Toris' hand clasped Joxer's head and soon they were granting each other kisses that were more potent than wine and sweeter than fresh picked berries.
It wasn't long before they found a nice soft spot and were engaging in a contact sport more fun and stimulating than wrestling, though it was incredibly tender. Warm hands caressed trembling thighs. Hot lips tasted salty skin. Bodies strained against each other, seeking release and joy in each other. If the woods heard noises it was unaccustomed to, it revealed no secrets.
After trying to ride back to town and getting totally distracted twice, Joxer insisted on walking the rest of the way. He began to appreciate why Gabrielle walked and wondered if she and Xena had the same problem. Joxer arrived at the temple a bit after Kalai and quite a bit before everyone else. He was greeted outside by the warm smile of his lover and with a companionable shoulder hug. He grinned in anticipation. They had the rest of the day to themselves.